September 8, 2008

"PRIDE"-EEM PHASE 4 - ENTERPRISE INFO STRATEGY (SPECIAL)

This is Part VI in our series on the "PRIDE" Methodologies for IRM. In this edition we provide a description of Phase 4 of the "PRIDE"-Enterprise Engineering Methodology (EEM).

The full text for this section can be obtained by clicking: HERE

NEXT UP: PHASE 5 - EEM EVALUATION

If you would like to discuss this with me in more depth, please do not hesitate to send me an e-mail.

Keep the faith!

OUR BRYCE'S LAW OF THE WEEK therefore is...

"There is nothing more unproductive than to build something efficiently that should not have been built at all."

"MORPHING INTO THE REAL WORLD"

Friends, be sure to check out our book entitled, "MORPHING INTO THE REAL WORLD - A Handbook for Entering the Work Force" which is a survival guide for young people as they transition into adult life.

Bonnie Wooding, the President of the Toronto Chapter of the International Association of Administrative Professionals (IAAP) said, "Many of our members are just starting their careers and I will be recommending that they read this book, especially Chapter 3, Professional Development - a primer for business skills and filled with basic common sense advice that is simple, easy to follow and extraordinarily practical; and Chapter 5, Do’s and Don’ts of the Workplace, an excellent resource for those questions you are too embarrassed to ask for fear of looking foolish."

The Miami Hurricane recently reviewed it (10/22/2007) and said,

"the abundance of information the book provides is a good start for anyone about to take the first step into the real world. Though the concept of adulthood may seem intimidating, it's comforting to know that someone has at least written a guidebook for it."

Reviewer Bill Petrey praised it by saying, "Every young person entering the workplace for the first time should be given a copy of this book."

The book includes chapters to describe how a young person should organize themselves, how to adapt to the corporate culture, develop their career, and improve themselves professionally and socially. Basically, its 208 pages of good sound advice to jump start the young person into the work force. Corporate Human Resource departments will also find this book useful for setting new hires on the right track in their career. It not only reinforces the many formal rules as contained in corporate policy manuals, but also includes the subtle unwritten rules we must all observe while working with others. The book lists for $25 and can be ordered online through MBA or your local book store. Complementing the book is a one day seminar of the same name which can be purchased separately for $4,000.00 (U.S.) plus instructor travel expenses. For more information on both the book and the seminar, visit our corporate web site at: http://www.phmainstreet.com/mba/morph.htm
ISBN: 978-0-9786182-5-4

MY "PET PEEVE OF THE WEEK" IS "THE SFB QUOTIENT"

Anyone who has ever taken an IQ test knows you have to endure a battery of multiple choice questions aimed at measuring your intelligence. Some are simple and common sense, others are a little tricky. This got me thinking whether we could devise a similar program aimed at determining if a person suffers from SFB (Shit for Brains) which you may recall me commenting on not long ago. As a result, I have devised the following set of questions:

1. During a business meeting you disagree with a coworker, and your boss sides with the coworker; What do you do?

A. Send a blind text message to everyone else in the department that your boss and the coworker are lovers (regardless what sex they are).
B. Change the coworker's time sheet to show he/she is goofing off more than yourself.
C. Using Adobe Photoshop, you manufacture compromising photos of your boss and e-mail it anonymously throughout the company.

2. Your boss asks you to work overtime in order to complete a key project; What do you do?

A. File a grievance with HR.
B. Change the office clocks (including those on the server) so everyone else has to stay late with you.
C. Manufacture an excuse, preferably the death of a loved one.

3. You have been asked to return your neighbor's chain saw after having it for six months; What do you do?

A. Before you return it, you hack away on a tree bordering your properties, particularly your neighbor's side.
B. Anonymously report him to the homeowners association that his lawn is a mess.
C. Pretend you didn't get the message and keep it for six more months.

4. It's 4:55pm on Friday, a customer calls desperately in need of one of your products; What do you do?

A. Send his message to voice mail and answer him on Monday.
B. Send him the wrong product (or an insufficient quantity of the right product).
C. Send a text message to him that you are on the golf course and wish him a good weekend.

5. The office temperature satisfies everyone in the office but you; What do you do?

A. Adjust the thermostat to suit your needs.
B. Open the windows.
C. While the boss is away, issue an e-mail memo that only you can adjust the thermostat.

6. While in the midst of a critical project assignment, your boss calls for another boring meeting; What do you do?

A. Briefly attend the meeting, but then excuse yourself leaving behind a notepad, pen and coffee cup indicating you will return (you don't).
B. You record the meeting with your cell phone, and e-mail it anonymously to your boss' boss.
C. You have someone call your cell phone every few minutes so that it disrupts the meeting and the boss asks you to leave.

7. You're traveling on company business and spend a tidy sum at a local Exotic Dance club; what do you do?

A. Report it on your expense account as "entertainment" of a client.
B. Doctor your receipts with a graphics package to make them look legitimate.
C. Tell your boss you were conducting some market research.

8. A shipping company is trying to make an urgent delivery to one of your rivals at work who is currently off-site; What do you do?

A. Refuse to sign and accept the package.
B. Forward the shipment to your Scranton office.
C. Forge his name on the delivery and hide the package in the building.

9. It is rush-hour and you want to get home in the most expeditious means possible; What do you do?

A. While driving, call a loved one on your cell phone and ask what's for dinner.
B. At a stop light, you roll down your window and ask your neighbor for directions, but since he can't speak English you flip him the bird.
C. Using your GPS, you plot a course that takes you through Las Vegas.

10. The new technology you've installed in the company is not living up to your promise of improving productivity and is actually a financial drain instead; What do you do?

A. Blame the end-users for incompetence in the use of the technology.
B. Blame the vendors for inferior products.
C. Blame the programmers for lousy software.

Now, for your score. Actually, it's rather simple. If you answered any one of these questions, give yourself a score of 100 as you are a bona fide SFB.

Such is my Pet Peeve of the Week.

Note: All trademarks both marked and unmarked belong to their respective companies.

"BRYCE'S PET PEEVE OF THE WEEK"

Folks, a couple of years ago I started to include my "Pet Peeve of the Week" in these "Management Visions" podcasts. They have become so popular that I now syndicate them through the Internet and they are available for republication in other media. To this end, I have created a separate web page for my writings which you can find at phmainstreet.com Look for the section, "The Bryce is Right!" Hope you enjoy them.

Also, if you happen to be in the Tampa Bay area of Florida, be sure to stop by and check out our new Palm Harbor Business OASIS, a new business venue offering local business people a place to meet, work, network, and relax. Why pay a lot for leasing office space when you can become a member of the OASIS for as little as $100/month? For more information, visit our web site at: http://www.phboasis.com/

AND FINALLY...

I received the following e-mail regarding my Pet Peeve on "The Olympics":

A D.T. of Raleigh, North Caolina wrote...

"I would think that a former military base would prove an ideal permanent location for the Olympics.

1. There is symbolism in converting a mechanism of war into a facility focused on celebrating sport and human athleticism.
2. The facilities are already set up, logistically, for moving/recieving material - air/lift and rail capability, and being secured.
3. They are self-sufficient towns with their own power stations, medical facilities, dormitories, shopping, recreation, etc.
4. Vast tracts of land are usually on-hand for new development.
5. Many are simply going into disrepair."

I received the following e-mails from my "Pet Peeve" entitled, "Making your problems mine":

A P.O. in Greeley, Colorado wrote...

"I just read your piece on your dumpster problem and responsibility. One course you might think about pursuing is getting the name of the owner of the trash and then contacting local law enforcement, either the sheriff's office or police depending on where the dumpster is. The person dumping the trash is guilty of "Theft of Services" and most law enforcement officers will happily site the offender for this. That way instead of having to deal with the offender yourself you can let the guys or gals who get paid to do it handle the difficult situation and the dumping (at least from that person) will end."

Again, thanks for your comments. For these and other comments, please visit my "Bryce is Right!" web site.

Keep those cards and letters coming.

MBA is an international management consulting firm specializing in Information Resource Management. We offer training, consulting, and writing services in the areas of Enterprise Engineering, Systems Engineering, Data Base Engineering, Project Management, Methodologies and Repositories. For information, call us at 727/786-4567.

Our corporate web page is at:

http://phmainstreet.com/mba/

Management Visions is a presentation of M. Bryce & Associates, a division of M&JB Investment Company of Palm Harbor, Florida, USA. The program is produced on a weekly basis and updated on Sundays. It is available in versions for RealPlayer, Microsoft Media Player, and MP3 suitable for Podcasting. See our web site for details. You'll find our broadcast listed in several Podcast and Internet Search engines, as well as Apples' iTunes.

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Copyright © 2008 by M&JB Investment Company of Palm Harbor, Florida, USA. All rights reserved. "PRIDE" is the registered trademark of M&JB Investment Company.

This is Tim Bryce reporting.

Since 1971: "Software for the finest computer - the Mind."

END